Burning Blue
by DorkyDumbNut
Summary: Traveling with a hippy playboy isn't always as fun as it seems. Rather than awkward laughs and giggles, Kiyo gets to experience firsthand the pain her lord goes through each time they are just a day late and a dollar short.


The sound of burnt wood crashing to the ground covered the final screams of townspeople that were too late to escape. The dark smog reached past the forest below to fill her lungs, almost making her feel as if she was the one screaming. Red enveloped the blue tower falling before them that had once stood to reach the heavens, eating away at the remaining pieces of hope the civilians must have held onto. Sometimes it surprised her, how normal it had become to be swallowed by grief. Yet she could never begin to get used to the pain Lord Keiji endured. The sight of strangers being engulfed in both flame and war alike tore him apart. This time, he had known these people. Seeing him suffer shattered her heart once more. But there is nothing she can do other than say that maybe the next time they would make it. That they wouldn't be too late again. Kiyo was no longer sure who she was trying to comfort.

When they began this journey, she thought of the young lord as nothing more than a nuisance. An idiot. A wild kid that lacked all common sense. A flirt. The last thing she expected to see was a man, just as human as anyone else. She didn't want to know this crazy boy was bearing the weights of every life he failed to save on his shoulders. She didn't want to watch him as he diligently worked to achieve his naive goal of peace in this country that was ripping itself at the seams. She never wanted to respect him for being able to overcome his own demons and keep moving forward. Yet here they were, and Kiyo knew that she would easily throw her own life aside for this dreamer. Many nights she regretted coming to such a conclusion, and at the same time, she was amazed how this person could change her so. The child that she used to ignore become someone who she cared for far too deeply.

Now Kiyo was never one to care about people she didn't know. Death was merely an inevitable consequence of life. That being said, it didn't sit well with her to watch innocent bystanders live their last moments in fear of the resounding hooves and flames approaching.

Kiyo was utterly disgusted by what some people would do under the pretense of unification. How far are people willing to go in order to make their ideals are recognized by the world? Why are they so willing to come into a normal person's home and thrust a spear through their hearts? Was it worth a child's life to make their leader the ruler of this small country? Asking questions solved nothing. The fact was that it still happened, and there was no way to make these feudal lords stop.

Lord Keiji didn't think so. He thought he could be a hero and stop them. Impossible.

With a shake of her head, Kiyo hardened her heart. The issue at hand was a lord whose depression worsened by the day, not the futility of their mission.

She observed Lord Keiji as he sat on the edge of the hill to watch the tower burn agonizingly slow to the earth, then set herself to prepare camp for the night. It was much easier to ignore the crashing wood and piercing screeches when one is busy with mundane tasks. The general area appeared safe; they were on the top of a cliff surrounded entirely by the emerald forest, overlooking the town that was turning to charcoal. A stream ran alongside the tower, almost appearing to mock the poor inhabitants. Finding a clear patch in the forest, she quickly set an area for them to sleep, then set to searching for dry wood. While she was picking up some branches that fell, she noticed a dull ache in her chest. She almost forgot the hollowness that preceded despair. Kiyo began to speed up, trying to pile more and more wood before those feelings could take hold of her. If she lost hope, she knew it would drastically hurt Lord Keiji. It was her mission to take care of him. To bring him home in one piece, mentally and physically. Only in times like these did she realize what an undertaking this truly was.

When she next came to full consciousness, she had enough wood to build a bonfire. On normal occasions, this would be where Lord Keiji would laugh and ask her if she was roasting a dragon for dinner while she would feel her face grow red in embarrassment, griping until he helped her put aside the extra wood for future occasions. With a grimace, she simply took what she needed to create another pile entirely, then started the fire. The gentleness that she once resented was now her source of comfort, and she came to hate the times when he was unmoving and silent. Softness was quite unbecoming of a warrior.

Recently, Kiyo noticed that she was afraid of who she was becoming. Often she had to remind herself not to reach out and embrace the desolate man. Should she ever do that, she knew that the warrior in her would die, leaving an empty housewife in her stead. Her ambitions would evaporate faster than water on a hot day, and her sole mission, her sole reason for existence would be the comforting of her sorrowful lord. Though she would die for her lord, Kiyo did not want to change her very being for him. Even if it was the only way to save Lord Keiji. Upon the end of their mission, Kiyo would learn once more to detach her mind from her emotions. Her rationality would return. Then she could finally return to Lady Matsu's side and return to who she once was: a proud member of the Maeda's cavalry.

Even if the cost was Lord Keiji's happiness?

Even still.

She must put herself before him should it mean the betterment of Kaga.

Was it worth it?

There was no answer for that.

Focusing once more on her task, Kiyo found herself again wondering about her lord's strange taste. She was making the usual meal: an extremely unhealthy portion of white rice with roasted azuki beans, sweet potatoes, and a large salted fish. Narrowly avoiding a grimace, Kiyo recalled how when she first had to cook for the lord, she hadn't a clue of what was edible and what was not, and she accidentally gave him food poisoning. Those were much simpler times.

She continued to warm his food as he further mourned the burning blue tower. As always, he refused to move or speak until the flames stopped. Well, "as always" is not quite right. He used to rush to the field and do what he could to help the survivors, but nowadays it pained him too much to see the look of horror on the dead's vacant faces. Regardless, this was their new routine for the time being. She would cook. He would mourn. On rare occasions, they would speak with one another. An awkward conversation it was, but welcomed all the same. That was proof that he had begun his healing process. However, Kiyo was not expecting a clumsy exchange of words this time. Lord Keiji had known these people this time around. They had given him a spare room to wait for a storm to pass once many years ago, and he had become relatively friendly with the lord of the castle. A joke and large meal could not even alleviate this wound a little bit. Many friends of his have died lately, but that was to be expected in such turbulent times. With a sigh came a wish; she wished that they were closer to a city, even though she hated crowds. After all, this natural playboy would at least be able to aim his focus on some beautiful women rather than the misery immersing him.

"Kiyo."

Immediately, she froze up. She tried to relax her body to hide her shock, but he had already noticed. Luckily for her, Lord Keiji chose not to comment on her lack of concentration.

"Am I doing the right thing?" An awkward air filled the space of silence he made. Kiyo never agreed with him to begin with, but was she supposed to tell him he was wrong? Was she supposed to lie? Was she supposed to tell him that his futile attempts to save this warring country were not in vain, even if they had not even once succeeded? What was the answer he wanted from her?

"If I asked for you to kill me, would you do it?" She almost hit him on the head. What a fool!

"Lord Keiji, you are kin to my Lady Matsu. The next in line to lead the Maeda clan and protect Kaga. My mission is to ensure your safety and wellbeing. Will you order me to kill you, knowing fully well that you would be forsaking your people and irreversibly failing Lady Matsu?" Her voice was filled with an icy acidity that made him visibly flinch. For a moment, she wondered if she was too harsh on him. He had just lost his dear friends after all. However, what he said was truly unforgivable.

"But I can't do anything-"

"Listen to me!" Kiyo's voice wavered with frustration. "There is no other lord in this entire nation- no, this entire world who is as dedicated to achieving peace as you are." She paused a moment to attempt to regain her cool. Not that it was very effective. "You are so naive, Lord Keiji. You think that by merely speaking to another lord that you can convince them that their entire way of life- their traditions of war are wrong. You think you can make them agree to your terms of peace in order to transcend war. Honestly, I think you're the biggest bonehead I have ever met. But I won't say you're doing the wrong thing. I've seen you use every last bit of your strength to defend anyone left begging for their lives. And when you fail, I have watched you mourn them. Strangers! For all we know they could have been criminals with unforgivable sins, but you still mourn them. Death is unavoidable, and you mourn people you have never met. It's an unnecessary burden you take on your shoulders. I don't understand you at all! These people you bewail would never have spared you a second thought if they were in your position. Do you know why? It's because you're a stranger. Another body lost to the war. You know this, don't you?" Kiyo stared at him hard, waiting for an answer.

"That doesn't matter," came his dull reply.

"And that is my point. You try to save people that don't care if you live or die. All in order to make sure that those people can be happy. Am I supposed to tell a man that surrendering his own happiness and sanity for the joy and survival of strangers is wrong?"

A moment passed quietly.

"I'm sorry, Kiyo." Her harsh glare softened.

"It's fine. Crybaby vagabond or not, I will follow you to the ends of the world and bring you right back. Even if I have to drag you, kicking and screaming."

A few more minutes passed before Lord Keiji moved to sit opposing her, and he spoke again.

"That's the most I've ever heard you speak at one time," he murmured, a small chuckle escaping his throat.

"Don't make me do that again," Kiyo retorted, a smile dancing in her eyes.

"Yes ma'am."


End file.
